Response Card: Mochatini by Wedding Paper Divas
The reception is the event that can blow your budget with a large guest list! There is nothing wrong with having a separate guest list for each! Of course, all guests would be invited to the wedding, and then a small, private, family only reception would be held later.
Traditional etiquette says that to do this, an invitation is sent that states “Reception By Invitation Only’ and then a separate reception invitation is included only with those invitations going to those you want at the reception as well.”
Many etiquette books will tell you this is the correct etiquett, but if your intention is to have a small, private, family only reception following the wedding, there is no need to mention it to other guests at all. It may be more appropriate to simply leave all reception details off the invitation all together.
The common argument used against this idea is that it looks like you just want gifts, but don’t want to have to feed them. That line of argument is based on a common thinking that wedding guests are required to bring gifts. This is not the case. When a guest is invited to a bridal shower, it is expected that a gift be brought – that is why there is a shower! But, this is not the case with a wedding. A wedding invitation DOES NOT carry the expectation of a gift. If you are inviting guests to the ceremony only, and are worried that they may feel obligated to purchase a gift, you can put “Your Presence is Our Gift” on the invitation. Yes, some will still send gifts. Some would send gifts even if they weren’t invited at all! Make sure they get a good, heart-felt thank-you in those cases but don’t feel guilty. As a bride, you are not required to have a reception any more then they are required to bring a gift.
