- More time with each guest as they are not there all at once

- If you have a larger guest list, you can still fit them all in your house

If you are considering hosting a Open House, here are a few guidelines you can follow to make sure that all your guests have a pleasant experience.

1. Greet each guest personally and offer then refreshments and a seat. Make sure there is enough room in case a bunch show up at once. You do not want anyone feeling out of place.

2. Open gifts as they arrive and give a personal thanks. Then, place the gift with the card in a visible place so others can see what other guests brought.

3. Plan some games and regular bridal shower activities that guests can participate in when they come in.

4. Try to take a few minutes to talk one on one with each guest before they leave and when they do leave, make sure you say thank you and walk them out.

In the end – your goal is to provide just as nice of a time as they would have had at a more traditional shower. You want each guest to stay as long as they please – and never to feel rushed or out of place.

We are on a ‘tight budget. We are planning to be married at the Justice of the Peace; because we just had a baby (yes backwards!) and cannot afford a big or small wedding right now. I have 2 questions how do you ‘announce’ you’re getting married (at the JOP) without making the guests feel cheated or slighted and any ideas on how to have a reception later also without making the guests feel like they were cheated out of seeing us get married??!

ANSWER

After the wedding, send out annoucement cards. The cards, much like invitations should state:

If you already know when you are planning to have the reception:

_______ & _________

are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter

______________________________

to

_______________________________

son of __________ & _________

The wedding took place on

_______________________________

You are invited to join us in celebrating this union with a reception in the new couples honor to be held:

___________________________________

Details will follow.

If you don’t know when you are planning to have the reception:

_______ & _________

are pleased to announce the marriage of their daughter

______________________________

to

_______________________________

son of __________ & _________

The wedding took place on

_______________________________

A reception in honor of this union is being planned. Invitations and details will follow shortly.

Now, that takes care of letting people know that you are married and that a reception is being planned. There will be some people who will wish they could have seen you exchange vows. What you can do is make that part of the reception. Not a full ceremony – but a short program during which you exchange vows and rings publicly, either on your own or with a officiant there. There is no legal need to do this, but in almost all cases, those who would have been offended will be happy with that.

If you want, you can also include that on the annoucement:

You are invited to join us in witnessing the exchange of vows and rings, followed by a reception in the new couples honor to be held:

or

A public exchange of vows and a reception in honor of this union is being planned. Invitations and details will follow shortly.

If you are having a pastor or preist there: use Public exchange of vows and blessing of the rings(union), etc.

One last note: the annoucement above was written as sent by the parents.

Here is the layout if you wanted to send it from your baby:

___________________________________

is pleased to announce the marriage of her mother

______________________________

daughter of

___________________ & ______________

to her father

___________________________________

son of

_________________ & _________________

If you want it sent by you:

_________________________________

daughter of

__________________&_____________________

and

______________________________________

son of

________________________ & ____________________

are please to announce their marriage, which took place:

- Many brides have a limited number of guests who can attend based on the number of guests who can be accomodated in their chosen location.

- With catering costs on the rise, every additional guest is an additional expense.

Here are some ideas that were shared among the girls:

Specific Reply Cards:

- This is also great if you need to do a seating arrangement and is probably the best option offered. This bride was having her wedding on a military base and was required to have a complete list of guests, including names, submitted 30 days in advance. To collect those names, and avoid uninvited guests, she filled out the number of guests invited, and allowed one space per guest for entering the names:

Number Of invited Guests: 2 Number Of Guests Attending: ___

Guest #1: ____________________________________________

Guest #2: ____________________________________________

- Fill out the cards in advance with the maximum number allowed. They will change it if less are coming, but are less likely to add more to the number.

- Make sure the invitation clearly states who is invited

- If a guest RSVP’s with extra guests on their list, call them and politely inquire as to who the extra guest is. Then, let them know that while you would love to have their guest attend, you have a limited space available and there are no extra seats at this time. Offer to contact them in another invited guest can not attend.

Remember: Ettiquette DOES NOT require you to allow your guests to add whom ever they wish to your guest list: especially at yoru expense. If your location and/or budget does not allow for extra guests, then some of these suggestions may help you to eliminate that problem.

Have some more ideas? We’d love to hear them. Click COMMENTS to share yours.

- Place pens and note cards on each of the tables at the reception. Ask guests to sign a card and fill in their wishes for the couple. Then, use a basket or card box as a drop box for guests to leave them in through-out the night. After the wedding, you can gather the cards together and paste them into a scrapbook.

- Have a friend create a video guest book. They could use a video camera to record greetings from guests as they enter, and through out the evening.

- Instead of having only one place for signing, a large guest list may require a few. Have a table set up on each side of the entrance, or place a few tables in a circle in the foyer. Then you can have the gift table, a few guest “books” and maybe a nice punch fountain for guests to enjoy as they wait.

Have another creative idea? Feel free to share!

1. If you plan on sending out photos, include you thank-you with or on the photos, so you only have to pay postage once!

2. Use phone if they are local – personal thank-yous are always appreciated, and have a special touch.

3. Skip the cards! You can buy thank-you cards to match your invitations, but this is an expense you don’t need! Instead, pick up some nice note paper or blank cards at the dollar store and write a nice personal note.

4. Hand deliver thank-you notes to friends and family you see often, or better yet, say thank-you in person!

5. Send E-mail thank-yous! Make sure the e-mail is personal, addressed only to them, and mention WHAT you are thanking them for! You can even attach your wedding photos to share at the same time!

6. Combine Thank-yous – keep a list of items received through-out the engagement and wedding events – then send one thank-you to each person/couple, thanking them for the wedding and engagement or shower gifts at the same time.

Use a combination of methods if you wish – say thank-you in person to those you see daily, e-mail those who have e-mail, call the local ones who don’t and finally, mail out thank-yous to those who don’t fit into any of the above options. There is no rule that states that every one must receive the same thank-you:)

Save The Date: String of Beads by Wedding Paper Divas

Some MUST Invites!!!
While you work on trimming your guest list, here is a list of people who should be included:

• parents of the couple
• wedding party and spouses
• siblings and their families or significant others
• parents of child attendants
• grandparents
• the officiant and spouse, unless you have a Justice of the Peace
• spouses or fiances of any invited guests.

Some more possible Cuts!

• Leave “And Guest” off the invitation so single guests don’t feel the need to find a guest to bring with!
• Children of friends, unless you are close to the children as well
• Parents of adult wedding party members, unless they are close to the bride/groom as well

Response Card: Mochatini by Wedding Paper Divas

The reception is the event that can blow your budget with a large guest list! There is nothing wrong with having a separate guest list for each! Of course, all guests would be invited to the wedding, and then a small, private, family only reception would be held later.

Traditional etiquette says that to do this, an invitation is sent that states “Reception By Invitation Only’ and then a separate reception invitation is included only with those invitations going to those you want at the reception as well.”

Many etiquette books will tell you this is the correct etiquett, but if your intention is to have a small, private, family only reception following the wedding, there is no need to mention it to other guests at all. It may be more appropriate to simply leave all reception details off the invitation all together.

The common argument used against this idea is that it looks like you just want gifts, but don’t want to have to feed them. That line of argument is based on a common thinking that wedding guests are required to bring gifts. This is not the case. When a guest is invited to a bridal shower, it is expected that a gift be brought – that is why there is a shower! But, this is not the case with a wedding. A wedding invitation DOES NOT carry the expectation of a gift. If you are inviting guests to the ceremony only, and are worried that they may feel obligated to purchase a gift, you can put “Your Presence is Our Gift” on the invitation. Yes, some will still send gifts. Some would send gifts even if they weren’t invited at all! Make sure they get a good, heart-felt thank-you in those cases but don’t feel guilty. As a bride, you are not required to have a reception any more then they are required to bring a gift.

Invitation Shown: Khaki by Wedding Paper Divas

With many couples waiting till they are older to get married, you may be facing your own long list of clients and business contacts! Here are a few suggestions to deal with this:

Announcement Cards - an announcement card is similar to the invitation but announces the wedding has happened, and is sent a day or two after the wedding. This is a great way to let clients and business contacts know what your new name will be as well.

The Post Wedding Party – Have a friend or coworker plan a post-wedding party when you return from your honeymoon. This can be a simple in home dessert affair or could be done in a restaurant were guests can choose to purchase drinks and snacks if they wish. This is a great way to let them celebrate with you without overwhelming the wedding budget!

Invitation Shown: Pumpkin by Wedding Paper Divas

One common guest list buster is the parent with a LONG list of clients and business contacts or old friends they feel should be invited. This can be very touchy and can blow even the best budget! There are a few ways you can deal with this: one is to simply give them a set number of guests and stand your ground. One of my friends who is getting married this spring faced a similar situation and came up with this great solution!!

She had her parents, her fiance, his parents and herself each make their own guest list. They had a budget for 150 guests, but when the lists came back, the groom’s parents list alone had nearly 200 people on it! The bride was okay with a larger wedding, but did not have the budget for it so they compromised. The groom’s parents agreed to pay for a percentage of effected costs based on the percentage of guests that would be from their list.

In this case, his parents’ list, not including family, made up 50% of the guest list. Since a bigger hall was needed, his parents paid for 50% of the hall rental, table rentals, centerpieces, catering/food costs, favors and invitations. Her parents paid for 35%, which was their portion of the guest list, and the bride and groom paid for the remaining 15%.

This was successful on two levels. First, she stayed under budget and was still able to make both sets of parents happy. Second, the parents were much more picky about who they invited, because they knew they were paying for each guest they added to the list!

Invitation shown: Persimmon from Wedding Paper Divas

*This is a series of posts that were put up back in Dec. of 2005. I am currently going through old posts, deleting those that are now irrelevant and updating/reposting those that are still valid.* 

Know your priorities! Before you begin planning sit down and make a list of what your dream wedding consists of, what things are more important and what things would you be unwilling to give up! When it comes to your guest list, a bride working on a budget has to decide which is more important to her: the number of guests or the type of reception. Then you can go from there!!

If you decided the type of reception is your priority, then you first need to decide what type of reception you will have. You will need to figure out what your budget will be for catering/food, invitations, favors, rentals, and anything else that will vary based on the number of guests you invite. Then, find out what you ideal reception will cost per person. Based on the cost per person, and your total budget, you will be able to determine how many people you can afford to invite.

If you decided the guest list is most important, you first need to estimate the number of guests you would have. Then, you need to make sure you can afford that on your budget – if you want 500 guests but the only location big enough is to expensive, then you have to reconsider your list, etc. Once you have a fairly good idea of how many guests you can afford to invite, then set a limit and start the list.

Making the list, normally, you will starting with the immediate family and wedding party, then extended family. After that, the remaining spaces are generally divided 4 ways between the bride, groom, and their parents. For a smaller wedding, you may not have enough extra spots to allow parents to invite extra guests and may want to fill the remaining spots with your closest friends.